free flights, not drinks

I think these airline surcharges are ridiculous. Who wants to pay extra for things like pillows? I think the airlines should do what night clubs have been doing for years. They could even make more money. All flights would be FREE, but there is a two drink minimum. No matter what you are drinking, drinks are $500 each.

bribe... i mean, hire me

Several cities are firing paid police officers and hiring officers who are willing to work for free. I have wanted to be a cop anyway, so I think I may volunteer. I will more than make up for the lack of pay by taking bribes.

stuff-kicking-around-the-internets dept: newlyweds

Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, New Mr and Mrs

A newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have
special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from sex for an
entire month."
 The couple agreed and, after two-and-a-half weeks, returned to the church. When
the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying, and the husband
obviously was very depressed.

legal marijuana names

There are so many legalized Pot Dispensaries around town that they are running out of names for them. They don't want to call them things like "Bob's Pot" and many of the clever names are already taken. I have a few ideas for those that are still in search of a name. Here are just a few that popped into my head as I wrote this.

what mullet? what are you talking about?

I did something on a whim that I should not have done. I decided I needed a haircut. I was impulsive. I should have gone to a barber, but I thought, "Heck, I can do this myself faster, and save money." Well I have an electric dog hair clipper I have never used. Let's give it a try. How hard can it be? Skip the instructions, just a little off each side. That looks good. Might as well do the top. Well I was so good at this I kept going. I did a great job. I won't look in a mirror for a month. It will grow back.

Certainly it is wise to leave things like organ transplants to the professionals.

hang loose together, or fall apart tight

It's not a mullet. OK?  My hair is gray in the day time and brown in the night time. It depends also on weather, and if it is cloudy or sunny. Kathea took this photo last night.

down by the river/priorities

One of two humpback whales who swam up the Sacramento River in 2007

Today the rescue squad saved 29 lives on the Sacramento River. The county will now cut the number of rescue personal by 50%

non-gabby gifford

Mark Kelly, the husband of Gabriel Gifford's, is retiring as an astronaut so he can be near his wife in her recovery. He does not know this yet, but they are probably getting a divorce in a few years.

stuff-kicking-around-the-internets dept: a lawyer, photoshop and a swedish kid

Erik J is a 21 year old swedish photographer....

top ten fly bys

I was at several of the Blue Angel's exhibitions at SF Bay for Fleet Week, but I don't think I was at this one.

stuff-kicking-around-the-internets dept: a lawyer, a lexus and a rolex walk into a ...

A very successful attorney parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.

it gets worser, or: time to get the band back together?

If you think it was a big scandal that Congressman Weiner was showing his weiner, just wait 'till you see what Congressman B*tt-H*l* is showing.

Pre-Political Endeavor

off with his head! too late, they're way ahead of us.

Once again, the only famous Ted Williams is the former baseball slugger. The guy with the golden voice has faded back into obscurity. Curiously, the famous Ted Williams is being kept frozen in Cryogenic hibernation. Incidentally, his head has been detached from his body. I am pretty curious about how they expect to put him back together again

.

the big man

Every time I see John Boehner (Speaker of the US House of Representatives) on TV seems to be crying.

Without Clarence Clemons the E Street band has lost a big part of their sound. He was a modest superstar, but a superstar nonetheless. I have seen him play several times with Springsteen and also many times with the Dead. I think he was one of those rare people that just appealed to everyone. I would love to see the band go on and substitute Alto Reed or somebody else in his place.

Even Boehner was a Clarence fan. When Boehner learned about his death he broke into tears.

stuff-kicking-around-the-internets-dept: birth and pain1/time to start a punk tribute band

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the baby's father.He asked if they were interested. Both said they were very much in favour of it.The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain and the husband had experienced none. She and her husband were ecstatic.When they arrived home they found the milkman dead on the porch.

The Deadmilkmen

west sac tuesday free concerts

City of West Sacramento - harmony City of West Sacramento - harmony
June 13

Mumbo Gumbo
Zydeco
June 20

stuff-kicking-around-the-internets-dept.: jeff foxworthy on taliban mebership tell tale signs

Jeff Foxworthy on Taliban:


1. If You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
You may be a Taliban


2. If You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
You may be Taliban

oh i wish i was an...

I am pretty sure Anthony Weiner was born Anthony Goldman and changed his name when he became popular in first grade for singing the OSCAR MEYER WEINER song and then dropping his pants.

best gas mileage

Winner: Hyundai Sonata: 28 mpg2. Nissan Altima and Honda Accord: 27 mpg3. Toyota Camry and Ford Fusion: 26 mpg*Best alternative drive-train: Ford Fusion Hybrid: 39 mpg**Chevy Volt is an extended range electric that gets a combined 37 mpg when running on gasoline. It goes up to 40 miles on an electric charge depending on driving technique.Anyone can check out car fuel efficiency on the government website, www.fueleconomy.gov.

Honest, this came up in a search for best mileage

why don't they ask me?

I saw a bit on the news the other day about prisoners being allowed to see their children on Father's Day. Suddenly I had an odd thought. "Gee, I sure was I could be a prisoner, so I would be allowed to see my son on Father's Day"

stuff-kicking-around-the-internets-dept.: you'll pry my motel room key from my cold dead hands, mister

No NURSING HOME FOR me!!! No nursing home for us.  We'll be checking into a Holiday Inn!

don't get me started

Now that Cadillac makes a pickup truck (Escalade), I think they should make a van. When I have a Cadillac I wish I had a van, and when I have a van I wish I had a Cadillac. I need to combine the two and be satisfied.I like to collect stuff. It started with Matchbox cars. I got all of them. Then it was Hot Wheels. I got all of them. That was followed by electric trains, bootleg concerts, circus memorabilia, neck ties, tools, model airplanes, video tapes, and any other number of assorted collections. I get them all, then move on to something else. I wish I was not so compulsive, and yet when I do something I go all the way.

is it fair that guys can do some stuff out of doors; out of sight?

It's only discrimination if guys do it. I can't get a job at HOOTERS. All male clubs have to let in women, but I can't become a Red Hat Lady. Women can go in guys bathrooms, but men can't use the women's room ever. I did that once accidentally and boy did that start a riot. Women often use the men's rooms, especially when there are long lines at the women's room, but guys don't mind. It is only parental kidnapping if the father takes a child. The law is never enforced for mothers. Males wouldn't even try to join CURVES. Supposedly it is a man's world but that is only because only women complain about it. Come to think of it, when women send naked photos, guys don't mind.

can't sell much

I have not ever bought a "hot Cake" and I don't know anybody else who has either.Newt Gingrich's presidential campaign is going great but it lacks one thing, supporters.

preaching to the choirmaster

I was going to lay by the pool and get a tan today, but it is raining. Somehow California became the Midwest and it now rains every other day.Maybe all the empty foreclosed houses should be given away to anyone who wants them? At least that way somebody would mow the grass.Maybe this would be a good year to skip the NFL season. The rest of us could get more done.Many Sundays there are about 10 people in the congregation and 12 people in the choir.

june newsletter

Lumping all the posts together.

Howdy,Just today I put down a deposit on my new apartment, which is a 2 bedroom, in a very nice, charming neighborhood. It is a neat complex with tennis, basketball, and volleyball courts, plus pools, hot tubs, and an exercise room open 24-hours a day. I am pretty pleased. After looking at 9 or 10 similar places,

fighting facts

Squeaky clean John Edwards is not so squeaky clean anymore. I sort of feel sorry for him, but I doubt the "I didn't know it was illegal" defense is going to do much good. These love kids are popping up all over the place.Am I the only guy in America that does not care about seeing Weiner's weiner on Twitter?If Mit Romney would wear a tie maybe his approval rating would go up. Presidents just wear ties.

i had one of these back in the day

1968 Triumph Spitfire MK3. I had a car just like this one in 1975. Mine was green and in much better condition, but otherwise it is the same car. I have seen a few of these restored selling for $10,00. I would be pretty sure this one could be fully restored but it won't be me. Mine was fun while it lasted but a royal pain keeping it running right. I bought mine back then for a whopping $300.

Engine has been rebuilt, and transmission has been rebuilt. New starter and generator. Distributor has been rebuilt. Dual SU carburetors have been rebuilt. New stainless steel headers. New chrome fan. Will need the electrical hooked up to run. Chrome is all there and in good shape. Softtop frame is included. The body is straight except for a small dent behind the driver's side door. Some surface rust in the passenger footwell, but otherwise rustfree. Trunk is full of parts and other stuff. Call 916-206-5912 or email if interested.

• Location: east sacramento
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

bible wars vs oil wars

The USA is the third largest oil producer in the world. Saudi Arabia is the largest, and Russia is second. If you put Canada and the US together, and admit it, we are the same country, then we are 1st. However, all the Arab nations together are of course larger. Israel is way down the list along with Croatia, Luxemburg, Solomon Islands and others. China is 6th and growing. 

OIL PROD  bbl/day

1	Saudi Arabia	11,000,000
2	Russia	9,870,000
3	United States	8,322,000
	4 Iran	4,150,000
5	Mexico	3,784,000
6	China	3,730,000
7	Canada	3,092,000
8	Norway	2,978,000
9	Venezuela	2,802,000
10	Kuwait	2,669,000
11	United Arab Emirates	2,540,000
12	Nigeria	2,440,000
13	Iraq	2,110,000
14	Algeria	2,090,000
15	United Kingdom	1,861,000
16	Libya	1,720,000
17	Brazil	1,590,000
18	Kazakhstan	1,338,000
19	Angola	1,260,000
20	Qatar	1,111,000

Rank	Country	Oil - consumption (bbl/day)
1	United States	20,800,000
2	China	6,930,000
3	Japan	5,353,000
4	Russia	2,916,000
5	Germany	2,618,000
6	India	2,438,000
7	Canada	2,290,000
8	Korea, South	2,130,000
9	Brazil	2,100,000
10	Mexico	2,078,000
11	Saudi Arabia	2,000,000